Thursday, November 17, 2005

South Park Skewers Scientology & Tom Cruise...They Might Sue!

This week's South Park Episode really rocks the boats of Scientology and Tom Cruise.
Cartman is claimed by the Scientologist BIGwigs to be the reincarnation of their founder and spiritual mastermind, L. Ron Hubbard, author of Dianetics.

Celebrity scientologist Tom Cruise gets a lukewarm greeting from Cartman so he's devestated because he believes that his Idol's reincarnation doesn't think highly of his acting abilities.

So he runs and hides in a closet and won't come out.

No one can persuade Tom to "Come out of the closet!", not xwife Nicole Kidman, fellow Scientologist John Travolta nor "alleged" pedophile pop star
R. Kelly.

The Bigwigs convince Cartman to write down whatever thoughts pop into his head so they can sell his writings to his followers and make millions.

The Chief BIGwig explains the mystery of our existence to Cartman just like this part from, but of course a great cartoon goes along with it:

"Xenu, the evil intergalactic ruler who implanted "thetans" or alien spirits, in earth's volcanoes 75 million years ago, after which they escaped and invaded human bodies. The ultimate belief of Scientology is that you are possessed by the spirits of aliens murdered 75 million years ago by "Xenu" and you have to exorcise these spirits."

Of course he doesn't tell him that only "those that reach the higher teachings (OT III) within the Church of Scientology will learn all about" this, and that "the cost of reaching OT III approaches $360,000."

Finally, they put Cartman out in front of a crowd of fawning devotees thinking he will spout the party line and and get the crowd to pony up big bucks for the reincarnated Messiah's deep thoughts.

Instead, Cartman proceeds to tell the crowd that Scientology is a HUGE worldwide SCAM!

The BIGwigs all strt freaking out and screaming that they will sue Cartman for calling their "religion a scam".

This finally brings Tom Cruise out of the closet screaming that he too will sue Cartman.

The show ends with Cartman screaming back: "Go ahead! SUE ME! SUE ME!" while standing on the stage above a huge "SCIENTOLOGY" sign.


The Church of Scientology and their massive legal resources have sued many into submission.

It will be interesting to see if they choose to go up against the South Park team, Comedy Central and the ultimate media behemoth Viacom.